Weight Loss Transformation Gifts

'Gosh, Frank, you're just a shadow of you former self.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Secretive Weigh In.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Pharaoh Cocoon

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You've changed."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Congratulations on the new you!

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."