Weight-conscious Individuals Pillows

Fat woman worring a thin woman whoes weighing herself by putting her foot on the scale

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

New Years Reolutions

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

'How is the new diet going?'

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

Apple Tree Dispenser

"Mind if I shoot through?"

Weight watchers

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

Seagulls on the South Beach diet

Diet Smell...

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'