Weight-conscious Individuals Pillows

Fat woman worring a thin woman whoes weighing herself by putting her foot on the scale

Secretive Weigh In.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

New Years Reolutions

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

Apple Tree Dispenser

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

'How is the new diet going?'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"Mind if I shoot through?"

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

Weight watchers

Seagulls on the South Beach diet

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

Diet Smell...

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

"Walking in the hall carrying a file folder makes you look busy. This allows you to get an aerobic workout and nobody is the wiser."