Weed Avoider Gifts

How to deal with weeds

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

Young Peel worries about visiting Scotland.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

Flower shows and weed shows.

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

'Nature makes me nervous!'

Escaped Fish

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

Too posh to wash...

Woman afraid of a computer mouse.

Gardening section in shop: Grow stuff or kill stuff.

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

'Homelessness does have its advantages - I haven't mowed a lawn for five years.'

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

"I can't go on, old man - it's my damned hay fever again..."

"Hey, we should totally move to Canada."

Edith was always allergic to flowers.