Wedding Vow Writer Gifts

'That's it?!! I've got good people skills?' When writing your own vows, short and sweet just doesn't cut it.

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

I love you.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Speech

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

Man states that he has never indulged in flirtation - lady suggest that perhaps he has never had any encouragement.

'Stand up straight!'

'Debbie, does this mean it's over between you and I?'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'... And do you, Gavin, promise not to hog the T.V remote, for as long as you both shall live?'

'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'

Second marriage vows.

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife -- the ball's in your court.'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'