Vows Gifts

Second marriage vows.

In Sickness And In Hell

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"...until death do you a favor."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

Gates of heaven

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

"And do you, Robert, promise not to breakdance at the reception?"

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

"I'm sorry - till when do us part?"

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"Seriously, Peggy? You want it written into our wedding vows that I'm willing to slay a dragon for you?"

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

'And do you, Archibald, vow to engage Gina in meaningful conversation?'

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'