Wedding Party Gifts

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Lesbian civil partnership.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Wine Lady

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Champagne

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Cat Nip.

A heart shaped cake

Bacchus.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

We'll have Manhattans...