Wedding Humor Appreciator Pillows

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

Customer sees sign on Bridal Shop window: Closed while I'm getting a divorce.

'Look, just take 'no' for an answer.'

"Imagine, if you will, being trapped but you're trying to make the best of it."

"To Sarah and her anxiety! Together forever!"

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

'We're gathered here today to unite Tiffany and Edward at the crotch.'

"You really whipped it in there."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'He does.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'You may now kick the bride.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.