Wedding Critic Gifts

'You may not be an ambulance-chaser, but how many divorce lawyers attend every wedding in town?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Wedding disaster #27.

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Andrew, the wedding usher from the future.

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

"That shirt is so last year."

Wedding bouquet spring loaded shoes.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Merge Ahead

Wedding Fayre

Fabulous civil union cake.

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"I knew I shouldn't of let you organise our beach wedding!"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"