Wedding Critic Pillows

'You may not be an ambulance-chaser, but how many divorce lawyers attend every wedding in town?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Andrew, the wedding usher from the future.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"That shirt is so last year."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Merge Ahead

Wedding Fayre

Fabulous civil union cake.

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"I knew I shouldn't of let you organise our beach wedding!"

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'