Wedding Calamity Appreciators Gifts

'Not quite the action shot we were going for!'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"OK, now what?"

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

I Pagliacci

Enrico from Lucia di Lammermoor

"Just junk mail."

'Not only the first wheel, the first road accident as well!'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

Bravo!

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

The Nuptials of Miss Pecksniff Receive a Temporary Check

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

Sneezing dragon.

"If I'm giving her away, how come it's costing me three thousand quid?"

"I love a ceremony that has some tradition in it."

'You would have to go back after your umbrella'

'Landsbanki collapses in October 2008 and affects thousands of investors,' - 'The 'Eyjafjallajokull' volcano erupts in April 2010 causing massive disruption to international airspace,' - 'The question you have to ask is, 'Did sacking Kerry Katona,,,'

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Can he call you back? He's in the middle of his morning catastrophe briefing.'

"Public display of rejection"

'You may kiss the bride, but no tongue.'

'You can't stand the sight of me, can you, Algernon?'

Nurse using a paper chain to deliver news.

'How could I have known that the nozzle on my hair spray can would stick open?'

"Look, if I'm coming across as uncaring and self-centred it's because my spin doctor wanted me to be that way!"

You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.

"Nobody cares any more."

Bridegroom escapes.

The End Was Near.