Kitchen Calamities Appreciator Gifts

Crumbs

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'My hero!'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

"the Captain thinks it would be nice to have them boiled in their jackets tonight."

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

Making a mess of fish.

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

Chef chasing a chicken

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'