Kitchen Calamities Appreciator Pillows

Crumbs

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'My hero!'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

Making a mess of fish.

"the Captain thinks it would be nice to have them boiled in their jackets tonight."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

All sizzle and no roast

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."