Kitchen Disaster Appreciators Gifts

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Sneezing dragon.

'May I have your attention! I dropped my car keys in the soup, if you find them, please return them. They're my only set.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."