Kitchen Disaster Appreciators Gifts

'That must be a television FIRST - Jamie Oliver burning the roast!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'May I have your attention! I dropped my car keys in the soup, if you find them, please return them. They're my only set.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Sneezing dragon.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

Cooking shows for dogs

Smoke gets in your eyes.