Wedding Buff Gifts

"And do you take Goldie, to be your lawfully wedded primary caregiver?"

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"Always with the String Theory."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Sheep In Curlers

Do you think I'm sixty?

The Cat Spa

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

A Creature WAS Stirring

Pair o' Keats.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Two men in barber shop

'I think we should leave a trail of crumbs so we don't get lost.'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'