Banquet Buff Gifts

'Ask Hodges to pass the salt dear.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

A dog at the bakery.

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Ballet Lovers

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'I think we should leave a trail of crumbs so we don't get lost.'

"What does she have that I don't?"

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'...Well, this is it Lana...the place where I was born and raised!'

"Nurse, I think I need to use the bread pan."

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'He's been wanting to have his own signature end-zone dance, but this just doesn't cut it.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

Bowl Games.

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."