Webmd Enthusiast Gifts

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

'When you suggest that I might want the second, third, or even the forth opinion...are you saying my condition is THAT bad?!'

"Uh-Oh!"

Too much Inflammation

Anatomy.

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

'The medical society says yes, the hospital says maybe and his lawyer says no.'

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Covid Vaccines

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"