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A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Anatomy.

"Uh-Oh!"

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'When you suggest that I might want the second, third, or even the forth opinion...are you saying my condition is THAT bad?!'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

'Her husband? No, I'm her lawyer.'

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'The medical society says yes, the hospital says maybe and his lawyer says no.'

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up."