Web Diagnosis Enthusiast Gifts

"I've already consulted WebMD. I'm just here for a second opinion."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

Spider watching his web cam.

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

"That's not what it says on the Web."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

You have a hangover!

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"Give it to me nuanced, Doc."

I'm going to recommend a tech company so far ahead of the curve, it's working on Web 3.0.

"I just thought I'd run the symptoms by you before I get a proper diagnosis on Google."

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

"This is the smallest website I've ever seen. Which is ironic, because it's a site about claustrophobia."

"I don't care what it said when you looked up your symptoms on the internet. You arenot Anorexic."

'I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got...'

'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'

"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got swine fever,rift valley fever,bovine spongiform encelophalopathy,bluetongue or a stubbed toe!

"There's no known treatment for it, but I can refer you to some great related content."

'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I found out that I'm dead and it's your fault.'

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and found out that I'm DEAD and it's YOUR FAULT!"

'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''

"I need to inform you of our new policy. No sentences can start out with, 'I read on the Internet.'"