Web Diagnosis Warrior Gifts

'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'Okay - Who built this site?'

"That's not what it says on the Web."

You have a hangover!

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"I publish unfettered on the web."

"I just thought I'd run the symptoms by you before I get a proper diagnosis on Google."

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

"ER says she was Googling diseases."

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"I sold enough of my blood to keep our website up for another week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out."

I've already got a diagnosis from homedoc.com, but I thought I'd see you for a second opinion!

"I don't care what it said when you looked up your symptoms on the internet. You arenot Anorexic."

"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

"There's no known treatment for it, but I can refer you to some great related content."

"I've found a diagnosis on the internet...maybe I should get a second opinion from my doctor."

'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I found out that I'm dead and it's your fault.'

"I've already consulted WebMD. I'm just here for a second opinion."

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and found out that I'm DEAD and it's YOUR FAULT!"

'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''

'This site wants a two-factor authentication. A retina scan and a urine sample.'

'This Obamacare website is so frustrating! I'm used to insurance companies rejecting us immediately.'