Weaponry Fan Gifts

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

Memo Mania

Men talking about the boots of the period

'I envisioned something more robust'

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"I didn't know we were supposed to flush them!"

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

Really big bang

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

The Trench-Sealer

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

Charles de Gaulle

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"I can't help you if you don't let your guard down."

Smoking Firemen.

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

'Wow, I'll earn my black belt in no time.'

Eustarch the Younger - the kid who brought the Trojan Horse in through the gates of Troy 'just to play with for a while'.

One More River to Cross. How the Last German got back across the Yser.

'Kicks a little.'

'Long time no see, 'Slim.' I'm guessing you're not as fast as you used to be.'

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

Putin's Napoleon Complex

A stylized tank.

"I don't get it. Every time we send an agent into Ukraine, this how they come back."

"Sorry ma'am. My computer says this is the wrong building."

"Any more martial arts tricks you want to show me?"

"You have roots and I have troops."