Weaponry Fan Gifts

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

Men talking about the boots of the period

'I envisioned something more robust'

"Before rising all the way to the executive suite, the fire had its modest start in the company mailroom."

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

"I didn't know we were supposed to flush them!"

Really big bang

'Oh sure, he's the fastest in the west alright, until it comes to buying a round.'

The Trench-Sealer

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

Charles de Gaulle

One More River to Cross. How the Last German got back across the Yser.

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

Eustarch the Younger - the kid who brought the Trojan Horse in through the gates of Troy 'just to play with for a while'.

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

'Wow, I'll earn my black belt in no time.'

"I can't help you if you don't let your guard down."

Smoking Firemen.

'Kicks a little.'

'Long time no see, 'Slim.' I'm guessing you're not as fast as you used to be.'

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

"You have roots and I have troops."

"Sorry. . . Houston isn't here at the moment - but if you'd like to leave a message. . ."

'Tell Tale' - The Drawbacks of Over-Tight Ponytails

"I don't get it. Every time we send an agent into Ukraine, this how they come back."

Global warming and forest fires

Putin's Napoleon Complex

"Any more martial arts tricks you want to show me?"