Weaning Wizard Gifts

When avocados go soft

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'So this is goodbye then!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Emma Watson

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know, on second thought, we just might have an opening.'

'Welcome to the first support group for people who wish they were at Hogwarts.'

"It's baaaack!"

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"This song is about my struggle with the bottle."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

EXPELLI-ANUS!

Woman riding a sleigh pulled by a black cat

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Don't you DARE float your head when I'm speaking to you!"

Owl