Weaning Wizard Gifts

When avocados go soft

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know, on second thought, we just might have an opening.'

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"It's baaaack!"

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

Woman riding a sleigh pulled by a black cat

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

EXPELLI-ANUS!

"That's fathering."

"Don't you DARE float your head when I'm speaking to you!"

"What do you want to be for Halloween when you grow up?"