Wealth Humorist Gifts

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

"Can I tempt Madam with a piece of gum?"

"I have an embarrassment of riches, yet I am not embarrassed."

"Weight 15 stones - Is that with or without your wallet?"

'He's so rich, even his jersey has an unlisted number.'

Life on Earth - Champagne gas station.

Angel with money - "I didn't take it with me.. I had it sent on ahead."

Man choosing options at Hollywood ATM.

"Wow. You DO own the road."

"And is there any particular reason Mrs Muglewump for you wanting to divorce your 93 year old billionaire husband?"

Some cows can't help boasting about their abundance of wealth

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Will work for ETFs

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged