Waterworks Professional Gifts

Thames Water.

Pipe Dream.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"It was a professional hit..."

The Source of the Thames...

Master Plumber

"The resort has a pool-bar! Oh goody, book it!"

Sewage Farm, "Bloody Hell, Crap Circles."

'Does this mean you're going to fix the leaky bathroom faucet?'

'Edna is the least synchronized synchronized swimmer I've seen.'

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."

Annual sportknitting Derby

"How do you stop this bloody thing?"

Water needs filtration.

'It'll take us forever to fill that thing up again ... '

"Don't you think listing the contents as hydrogen, hydrogen and oxygen may be seen as a little pretentious?"

Unsynchronised Judging.

'Verger, give me a hand to move the font over a bit. . .'

'You don't say! I'm a 'hydrantologist' myself.'

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

Your Private Water Company: Out of Sight Out of Mind

"Tell your dad we offer adult lessons."

"We have to discover who's dumping clean water into our sewage."

'Slight plumbing problem?'

Water Desalination Plant.

"I understand that your next door neighbour is the public water works!?"

'Sure, you've led me to water, but no way you'll get me to drink it: It's polluted!'

"Drinking fountains were too expensive to install, but we are providing a garden hose to drink from."

"And where does this one go to...?" "Teasmade."

"Our policy is to not give a s**t."

"We'd like to name the new sewage disposal plant after you."