Waterfowl Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Avoid eye contact. This guy's a real loon."

A heron wearing waders.

"I don't know. I just feel really vulnerable for some reason."

Duck Feet

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Bring your own inflatable.

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Duck Hunt

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Canada Goose Jackets

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Spring Training

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."