Waterfowl Enthusiast Gifts

"Avoid eye contact. This guy's a real loon."

A heron wearing waders.

"I don't know. I just feel really vulnerable for some reason."

Duck Feet

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Bring your own inflatable.

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'You know too much!'

Duck Hunt

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Spring Training

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Canada Goose Jackets

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.