Water Cooler Chat Fan Gifts

"Bob, it's about your branding."

'He's very strict about no hanging around the water cooler.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."

'I enjoy sweating the small stuff. It adds to my fitness workout.'

Box of powdered gossip, just add water.

'I'm just smart enough to never take an IQ test.'

'The only reason I come to work in the office now is to talk about sports.'

"Believe me, management isn't talking about you behind your back. In fact, they're not talking about you at all."

"Nine o’clock, water cooler, Claire and Sally – let’s do this!"

'I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me!'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"I noticed on the way here, but if I turned around I wasn't coming back."

"I've had enough reports for one day. Bring me some gossip."

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"Long bike ride last weekend?"