Watching Kids Gifts

"My mom is a little overprotective, so she binge watches me."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Wildlife

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Santa Claus's Mail

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

Cariactures

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"And this is our media room."

"Look, a bug!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"That'll be five bucks."

"I AM at my usual position."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

SALE