Watching People Gifts

"Our neighbors are much more entertaining than what's on cable TV. And it's free!"

"Apparently, in this kingdom, there's no room for a 'royal watcher'."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"They grow up so fast."

The Zoo.

Tourists

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Cariactures

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Einsteiners.'

Television Readers.

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I AM at my usual position."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Lazy Octopus

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'There's nothing on.'

American Idle.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'