Wartime Jester Gifts

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"I hate open-mike night."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Any questions?'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'