Wartime Jester Pillows

"Urgent message from Captain Sasson, sir - do you know any words that rhyme with orange?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"I hate open-mike night."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Any questions?'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'