Warship Enthusiast Gifts

Confederates Attack Union Flotilla at Galveston, Texas- USS Westfield Exploding

On the brink.

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"I don't do windows."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

Titanic: How's my steering.

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Sperm Whale.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

COWMIKAZES

"He's a keeper!"

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'This is definitely not your typical beaching.'

Making fun of Starfish.

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

Ever Given

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

On board the MS Hepatology

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."