Warranties Gifts

'I could pop the hood to take a look, but that would break the manufacturer's seal and void your warranty.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

It feels so weird when I forget my watch.

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'I think I found the problem.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"Remedial Karate"

"You could be just the man we're looking for!"

New Watchdog.

'No. I haven't always been a lawyer.'

Genius Bar

The Land Before Time.

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

TV Repair 101.