Warfare Maestro Gifts

Military conductor

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"Home school marching band"

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'I play heavy metal.'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"I know this sounds like a line, but nice shooting."

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

Fox Holes

A bulge of bodybuilders

'Your car has failed it's MOT.' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - 'I'm going to replace your lambda control.' - 'I don't even know what that is...' - 'It's expensive. That's all you need to know. My little blue victim.' - 'Gah.'

'I just got a text from HQ. Whatever it is we do, it ain't rocket science.'

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

A blacksmith shaping a horse shoe on an anvil.

Knitting techniques

"We're reviewing the security tape to see if you made it into the garage before the warranty ended."

"If it weren't for our fine workmanship, your car would have fallen apart before the warranty expired, instead of the day after."

Blacksmith heart

He lived and died for golf.

"I'm not sure who's winning. The rules are very complicated."