Marksmanship Maestro Gifts

"I know this sounds like a line, but nice shooting."

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

SupermarketAwful Market.

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

"Home school marching band"

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

Musician's Fishing Trip

A man shoots at a drone.

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

"Markets rose slightly today. No one knows why."

Fishing Music

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

'This model even has a sports car on board.'

"You still working on your car?"

Man is attacked by barcodes.

Ron began to feel that Gina was taking their relationship a bit too seriously.