Ward Warblers Gifts

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

So you're a mocking bird...

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'I told you I knew what nine sevens is...'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

Babies

Robotic man mowing the lawn

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

Firemen keeping their fire under control.

"He's at that awkward age when they can try him as an adult."

"I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Worm running away from hook.

"Travelling coach doesn't take longer...it just feels it!"

Bee Bar

'How do roosters in the land of the rising sun get any rest?'

'Better fish while you can, Ben, it gets a little rougher downstream.'

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

New Covid Wave

I'd take down those chemical signs if you want to sell your house. I need them to keep people off the treated grass. They'll figure it out.

Walrus Dentures

"...and sunny and mild for the next week. Wait. I've just been handed a revised forecast for the Whitleys' vacation."

"Crap – we brought the wrong car."

'Come on the weeds.'

"I told you not to go out in that wind."

Tsunami surfing may not be good for beginners.

'To see how the ward is doing you just need to use your smartphone to set up a wi-fi hotspot which you can use to download a pdf of the data.'