Wannabe Spy Pillows

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

Rattache

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Your Palm

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

'Next time I cut the red wire...'

"No, my memo isn't encrypted...the spell check broke."

Secret travel agent. Man in black says: 'I could tell you about budget city breaks, but then I'd have to kill you.'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

A young boy shaving

"Your mission number one, should you choose to take it, is to seek and destroy the new laptop"

'Son, as I can see it, your career prospects as a pirate seem to be... hm...limited!'

Secret agent ninja spots the target. He moves quickly to get out of sight. Amazingly, the target reappears! He makes another evasive maneuver, but no matter what he does...he has to talk to the prettiest girl in school."

What he really hoped to be someday was a TV news anchor.