Wannabe Movie Star Pillows

Home Station. Ernie thought he was going to be a big movie star. What that didn't happen, he got a job here at the household goods store. How his favorite event of the year is this springtime parking lot sale where all of the warm weather items are brought out. There are variable-speed models, ones that are energy efficient. He gets to put on his sunglasses and and say ... As you can see, I have a huge number of fans!

Director/Action Man toy.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

Reese Witherspoon

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Tom Cruise

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Pony Director

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Before and After Tattoos.

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'