Wannabe Hero Pillows

Zorro as a child.

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

A young boy shaving

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

The Island

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'