Wannabe Genius Pillows

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

House building chart (like steps).

Wisdom for dummies

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

A young boy shaving

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

The Island

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."