Wannabe Farmer Gifts

Bob tried living off the land. But the land soon got tired of Bob not pulling his weight, and kicked him out.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

New Guy.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Raptures

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

Cow Pilot.

'You're FLIES YOU FOOLS!'

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

Biotechnology in agriculture

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

'This lettuce will grow on Mars...by the way, find out if 'red lettuce' is copyrighted.'

"I need this grant to start my chicken farm."

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'Thanks for a little genetic engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'I don't understand it! I planted carrots.'

"Someday, I'm gonna have a little place out in the country where I can just kick back and raise vultures."

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

A young boy shaving

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'