Wannabe Farmer T-Shirts

Bob tried living off the land. But the land soon got tired of Bob not pulling his weight, and kicked him out.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

New Guy.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Raptures

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'You're FLIES YOU FOOLS!'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Cow Pilot.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

Biotechnology in agriculture

'This lettuce will grow on Mars...by the way, find out if 'red lettuce' is copyrighted.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

"I need this grant to start my chicken farm."

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Git Rich Quik Skeem - Only $1,000,000.

'Thanks for a little genetic engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

Monsanto experiment

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'I don't understand it! I planted carrots.'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

A young boy shaving

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.