Humble Farmer T-Shirts

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'Oh Hi!'

Agricultural Psychology

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"Is his nose locally grown?"

Show and Tell.

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Man sowing plant seed Cat sowing bird seed.

"Naw, mom says there ain't no candy corn seeds!"

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Tropical Cow Tank

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

The Moo-Walk

"Maybe strawberries would have made more sense."

'Our approach is so humane we're even letting young Colin here take a gap year.'

'The cows aren't milking much, but it sure is fun to watch them chew their cuds.'

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

"Legally, we're a farm."

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

That's right! I'm River Banksey!

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

'Easiest job I've ever had: Farmer Jones is paying me $5 an hour to be a scarecrow...'

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."

"This is awful! When I asked for a pony, I never thought they'd get me one!"

When he heard that methane was responsible for around 18% of the Greenhouse Effect, Ed decided to take action.

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

'I wanted a parrot-Giles wanted organic fresh eggs,so we compromised...'

Don't worry, I'm not grazing, I'm looking for my contact lens!