Wall Street Historian Gifts

Dow Jones' Greatest Hits

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

Born to raise interest rates.

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'Twenty-seven years in a row the women investors in this club have outperformed the men--talk about lucky streaks.'

If only we could sell shares in doom and gloom.

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

A stripe of stockbrokers

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Rat Race Resources.

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'If anyone just wants a quick turn down on a loan - I can help you here.'

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

"Yes, They're all fine thanks, Max - how's your portfolio?"

'Believe it or not there actually was a time when we accepted money for executing trades up to 5,000 shares.'

'Here's the confirmation now, Mrs. Davis: You paid 14.4960937 per share. Kind of makes you homesick for eights and quarters, doesn't it?'

"You want me to recommend that stock? It's done more reverse splits than the Rockettes."

'We may be getting older, but we still have street cred.'

Wall Street steals kids' candy on Halloween.

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

'I just got back from Wall Street.'

'The bonuses are in. You buy lunch, I'll buy the restaurant.'

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

The European Bailout

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

"The secret to shorting is to be the shorter, not the shorted."

Emblematic Print of the South Sea Bubble.

Bank...formed 1893, merged 1971, saved by the Federal Government 1989.

'We're ahead of the game. We've lost nothing since we never had anything.'