Wall Street Expert Gifts

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Why markets crash.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Superstock'

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You