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'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

Shrink

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Squirrel on the beach

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

'Beware of falling Humpty Dumpties.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Scales

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Thanks again, kid!"

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'