Waist Watchers T-Shirts

36 waist' - 'Mmm... comfy' - '34' Waist' - 'This would be easier with a corset.' - '32' waist' - 'Uh-oh... I can't feel my legs.' -

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Squirrel on the beach

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Beware of falling Humpty Dumpties.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''