Voyeuristic Humor Fan Gifts

Beauty Spot for Middle Aged Men

Couple at it !

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Dog in casino.

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

The Pencil and Sharpener

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Caricatures $20"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."