Vision Humor Fan Gifts

Peripheral vision cow

A spider's eye exam.

'The trouble is not with your set -- please adjust your eyes.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Shampoo.

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

"Caricatures $20"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

No, I don

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''