Vision Humor Aficionados Gifts

"Your hindsight is 20/20, but your foresight is legally blind."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"Very Presidential."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Cheating Death.

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"Caricatures $20"

Large print e-book.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Watchdog on Holiday

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com