Vow Masters Pillows

"You said it—everybody heard you."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"...until death do you a favor."

Zenemies.

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Guitar Man.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Wordplay: Export.

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

Note Book

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

Relax.

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'